


After the Battle Is Over

by KabiViolet



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, F/M, Love, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-24
Updated: 2013-04-24
Packaged: 2017-12-09 09:22:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/772588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KabiViolet/pseuds/KabiViolet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Battle is over. Saren is defeated. But Commander Shepard doesn't know where the other pieces of her life have fallen.</p><p>A brief one-shot where sexy times ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After the Battle Is Over

**Author's Note:**

> All characters belong to Bioware.

“We have gathered here to recognize the enormous contributions of the Alliance forces in the war against Sovereign and the geth.”

Shepard was trying to pay attention, but the Asari Councilor was already boring her. She shuffled her feet slightly, but felt Anderson’s disapproving glance. She couldn’t see him, he was standing just behind her to her left, but she knew him well enough to sense what he was doing.

She was also aware of another set of eyes watching her from behind – the one set of eyes she actually wanted to feel, although just thinking about that set of eyes made her ears burn and her pulse increase.

The Council had wanted to make this formal presentation, and Anderson had told her she needed to be present. She didn’t like formal affairs, and she definitely didn’t like being the focus of them, but she would do just about anything that Anderson asked her to. The man meant more to her than most people in her life. He had been there for her since she joined the Alliance. He had supported her and helped her throughout her career. He had been the father she lost when her own father died.

But if Shepard had to sit through the boring speech, she decided her crew did too. Hell, she couldn’t have done what she had done alone. She always worked with a team, and her crew had been the best goddamn team she’d ever known. They were all there behind her, watching and listening.

And she could still feel those eyes on her back. She controlled a pleased shudder at the thought and jerked her head up when the Asari Councilor spoke directly to her.

“Given all that has happened, I am sure your recommendation will carry a great deal of weight, Commander. Do you support any particular candidate?”

_I should have been paying better attention. When in doubt, go with your gut…_

“We need someone with the courage to stand up for what he believes in. Someone like Captain Anderson,” she managed to say with a surprising amount of conviction.

“Him?” Udina scoffed. “You must be joking. Anderson prefers to let his fists do the talking.”

“Only with you, Ambassador. Only with you,” Anderson replied, and Shepard found it hard to suppress the laugh that threatened to destroy the solemn mood.

“Are you sure about this, Commander?” Udina addressed her directly. “The captain is a soldier, not a politician.” She was listening now. She definitely had a response to that.

“We’ve already got too many politicians on the Citadel. The captain would be perfect for this job,” she explained.

Shepard pretended to listen to the rest of the presentation, but after a few more comments, she’d had enough.

“Sovereign was only a vanguard. The Reaper fleet is still coming. Hundreds of ships, maybe thousands. And I’m going to find some way to stop them.” _And I have other matters of business to attend to_ , she thought as she turned her back on the Council to face her team behind her. They were standing several yards back, waiting for her. Wrex, Tali, Liara, Garrus…everyone except Ash…

But Shepard perked up slightly when she saw those hazel eyes. She wasn’t imagining the feeling on her back. They had been on her the whole time – and they were smiling at her.

“Good enough, team,” she said as she reached them. “Let’s blow this popsicle stand and get back to real work.”

“Yes” was the enthusiastic response she got from Wrex, complete with his fist slamming into his other gloved hand. “This kind of thing makes me want to smash something. Preferably Udina’s head.”

Shepard clapped her krogan friend on the shoulder and smiled as they headed toward the shuttle. “Me too, Wrex. Me too.”

************************

She always checked in with the crew after a mission. Today didn’t feel any different. Maybe the mission was over for now, but old habits die hard – even for Commander Shepard. But as she made her usual rounds, Shepard’s heart began to sink. Several of her crew – her friends – were leaving. She understood their reasons, but it still somehow felt wrong.

She saved the one she was most afraid of for last.

They hadn’t spoken since that night – the night before Ilos. She hadn’t told him, but that night was one of the best of her life. No man had ever taken the time to make her feel like so much more than a body – she had felt loved, adored even. She had so many questions about what had happened that night. What did it mean to him? Was it just a one-time thing? Were they just easing nervous tension the night before?

“ _I think about losing you and I can’t stand it.”_ He had said that. But did he mean it? Kaidan Alenko hadn’t approached her and she hadn’t approached him since Saren had fallen. She could take it if he didn’t really care about her as much as she cared for him. It was the waiting that was killing her – the silence. That was what she couldn’t take.

It was time.

He was standing in his usual place near the equipment lockers. Shepard took a deep breath and walked toward him, trying to appear normal – struggling to control her shaking hands. He turned and smiled at her the way he always did when she visited with him. She locked her arms behind her back so he wouldn’t see them shaking.

“Commander,” he said with a nod.

“Kaidan,” she replied. _Just out with it_ , she told herself. “So, planning on staying with the _Normandy_?”

Kaidan gave her a confused look. “Didn’t know I had much of a choice,” he said. _Well, that wasn’t exactly the answer I was looking for…_ Her heart fluttered nervously in her chest.

“Well, some of the team members are headed off in different directions. Garrus is going back to C-Sec. Wrex asked to be dropped off on Tuchanka. Tali will be here for a while, but she’ll go back to the fleet eventually.” She was rambling. She hoped her nervousness didn’t manifest in her voice, but she had to know. _Will he stay with me, or will he leave me too?_ “I guess I was just wondering what your plans were,” she concluded.

He continued to look at her strangely with those warm, hazel eyes. She could get lost in those eyes. She was getting lost in them now, remembering the matching warmth of his hands on her face, her back, her legs, his lips pressing hungrily on hers. She nearly had to reach out to the lockers to steady herself, but shook her head and pulled her mind out of the memory.

“I hadn’t planned on requesting a transfer, if that’s what you mean,” Kaidan replied. Was that a smile playing on his lips? Was he laughing at her? Did she say something embarrassing? Make some sort of obvious movement? She thought she was fairly under control – at least outwardly. Maybe she was mistaken. _This conversation was a mistake_ , she thought grimly.

“Oh,” she stammered. “Well – good, I guess. I mean, I’m glad. I – I wouldn’t want to lose another friend – crewmember, I mean.” She cleared her throat and straightened her shoulders, trying to retain her composure. “We still have a long fight ahead. The Reapers – they’re still out there, you know?” _Oh God, I sound like such an idiot._ Kaidan was really smiling at her now. It was unmistakable. “Glad to still have you on the team, Kaidan. You’re a hell of a soldier.”

She turned quickly on her heel, determined to escape the awkwardness that was this moment with all haste, but Kaidan’s caramel voice stopped her mid-turn.

“Commander,” he said softly. She looked up into those beautiful eyes. “Shepard,” he continued, smiling at her. “I’m a little busy with inventorying some of our new supplies, but could we talk later?”

Now she was really nervous. It was over. She knew it. It had been a one-night thing, just easing some stress and tension before Ilos. She should have known better than to invest any emotions into the perfect body, honey eyes, and matching voice.

“Sure, Kaidan. We’ll talk later.” This time, she didn’t turn around as she made her way to her cabin.

*********************

She pretended to be thoroughly engaged in the report on her desk when she heard Kaidan’s ping.

“Enter,” she said, not looking up. She heard him come in and motioned to the chair next to her as she put the datapad-prop down and met Kaidan’s gaze. “You wanted to talk?” she said. Even as the words left her mouth, her stomach did flips. She had never felt like this. Shepard hoped that if Kaidan was going to break her heart, he would do it quickly. She wasn’t sure how much more of this she could take and still hide the emotional rollercoaster going on behind her controlled face.

“Yeah, I did. You seemed a little tense when we spoke earlier,” he began, placing both his hands on his knees in front of him and smiling at her. _Don’t smile at me_ , she thought. _Don’t smile if you are here to tell me it meant nothing_. “We haven’t really had a chance to talk since we beat Saren. Things have been so crazy – what with the battle, the Council, everything.”

“It has been pretty crazy,” she interjected nervously. _Yeah, that sounded intelligent_ , she chided herself.

“So, we should talk,” Kaidan continued with that ever-present smile on his face. Shepard found herself staring at those lips, remember how they had felt on her own, on her check, on her neck – _Ugh, stop it!_ _That kind of thinking is not helping the situation._ “Are you ok, Shepard?” he asked.

“Yeah, of course,” she said, leaning back in her chair and resting an arm on her desk. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re just acting a little….strange. Asking me if I’m leaving the _Normandy_ and now – I know you, Shepard. I can tell that something is wrong.”

 _This is wrong_ , she thought. _The fact that my subordinate knows way too much about me and I let my guard down without thinking. I was so blinded by those eyes...why do you have to have such beautiful eyes, Kaidan?_

“I’m just recovering still,” she tried to say. “From everything that happened, you know?”

“Are you sure that’s all?” Kaidan asked.

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Shepard, I would never leave the _Normandy_. Not unless you wanted me to.” Shepard couldn’t hide her relief at that statement, but she tried to anyway. She was sure Kaidan noticed. “Is that what you want, Shepard?” he asked quietly. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No, Kaidan! Of course not!” she blurted, a little too quickly. “Why would you think that?”

“Well, I can’t quite understand what you’re hinting at. Were you suggesting something when you asked me if I was leaving? Why would you ever think I would want to leave this crew?” His face was honest. He looked truly concerned, as if he was worried he had done something wrong.

_Oh, Kaidan, it’s not you at all. This is all my fault. I couldn’t keep my hormones in check…Just tell him, Shepard. You owe him that._

“Look, Kaidan,” she began, wringing her hands in her lap. “I’m just gonna cut to the chase here. I know we were both stressed before Ilos – there was a lot of….tension….to work through. But the moment is over now. If I at all made you feel pressured or uncomfortable, I’m really sorry about that. I put you in an entirely awkward and horrible position. I just wanted you to know that you have no obligation to stay if you feel you can no longer serve under my command. It wouldn’t –“

“Wait, wait, Shepard,” Kaidan raised both his hands as he interrupted her. “Is that what you’re worried about? You think I would leave because of….” He brought his hands back down in his lap and looked at her with a confused expression. “Shepard, that night…was wonderful. It was a game-changer for me. If _you_ feel uncomfortable, then I guess I can put in for a transfer, but let me make one thing very clear.” He reached out with one of those warm, surprisingly tender hands and gripped hers. “I don’t plan on going anywhere unless you tell me to.”

All the tension in her shoulders released. Her free arm dropped from the desk where it was leaning and her face relaxed into a sheepish grin. She was sure she looked utterly foolish, but she didn’t care.

“I don’t want you to go anywhere, Kaidan. At least not without me,” she said softly.

Those honey-colored eyes were smiling at her again. She could stare into those eyes for the rest of forever if it were possible, but Kaidan’s other hand interrupted her thoughts as it reached up to cup her face.

“Deal,” he said. He pulled her closer to him and leaned in, pressing their lips together in the softest kiss Shepard thought she had ever had.

The next few minutes were a blur. She pressed back against Kaidan and wrapped her arms around his neck. Vaguely, she was conscious of his strong arms wrapping around her waist and under her legs, lifting her from the chair and placing her gently on the bed. Then his warm hands were everywhere. Shepard moaned softly as his hands grazed the parts of her body she longed for him to touch and shuddered when he took his hands away.

Kaidan pulled back slowly to look at her as he leaned over her on the bed.

“I think you’re entirely overdressed for this exercise, soldier,” he said, teasingly. She smiled up at him.

“You think you can do something about that, marine?” she asked, breathily. She reached for the bottom of his shirt and ripped it over his head before he could protest. Her hands played over the warm skin on his bare chest as Kaidan placed his hands at the small of her back, pulling her up to him and capturing her mouth in a deep kiss again. But she noticed him tugging at the hem of her shirt too. She wiggled slightly to give him easy access and gasped at the separation of their lips as her shirt came over her head.

She blushed as her lover’s eyes roved lovingly over her exposed skin, touching her lightly with his hands again. He dove into her neck, covering the surface with light kisses that traced down to her shoulders as his hands began to play with her breasts, lightly pinching her nipples.

 _This is bliss_ , she thought, but then lost all coherent sense of being as Kaidan’s mouth traveled lower and lightly nipped at her nipples through the cloth of her bra. His deft hands traveled to her back again, fumbling with the clasp that would give him more access. She nearly yelped with pleasure as she felt his tongue lap at the hard center of her breast when it came free, while flicking the other with his fingers.

She let her own fingers trail down Kaidan’s chest and stomach until she found what she was looking for as well. As she rubbed her hand along his hardened length, she felt Kaidan moan into her chest and gasped as he switched attention to her other breast with his teeth, biting slightly harder.

While she was distracted by the amazing things Kaidan did with his tongue and teeth, she almost didn’t notice his hand sliding down to her hip and massaging just under the waistband of her pants. Suddenly, he broke his ministrations to her breast and looked at her, hunger in his eyes.

“Permission to go further, Ma’am?” he asked with a  smirk.

“Oh God, Kaidan. Permission granted,” she said with a moan as he settled himself between her legs and pulled at her pants, panties descending with them. Again, she reveled in the way her lover looked over her body and drank in his appearance while he stared at her – his honey-colored skin and his desire evident even through his own clothes. Kaidan settled back down and returned his mouth’s attention to her breasts while his hands teased her, massaging her thighs. But then, he slowly began to place kisses lower – on her stomach, her navel, lower and lower – while his hands moved higher and higher until both his hands and lips were hovering near the juncture between her legs. She could feel the blood rushing to her sex, pulsing with desire.

Kaidan met her eyes again with a wicked glance, and then he dove in. Shepard cried out with pleasure as his fingers invaded her entrance and his tongue circled the swollen nub that had yearned for his touch.

She almost couldn’t believe what was happening. Only a few short hours ago, she was sure that Kaidan didn’t really care for her – that she had pressured him into having sex with her before Ilos. But here he was, licking her for pleasure while she writhed above him. This was even better than it was before, because there was no pressure or stress involved. This was plain, unadulterated love-making and the adoring man between her legs was concerned only with making her happy.

Just as she thought she might burst, Kaidan pulled himself up with a grin.

“How am I doing, Commander?” he asked.

“You’d be doing better if you took those pants off, soldier.” She eyed the bulge that teased her with desire.

“Is that an order?” he asked as he reached for the top of his pants.

“Yes, dammit. Get them off!” she said, giggling as she half sat up to reach for them herself. He didn’t stop her, and she quickly pulled the garments down, freeing his already swollen erection. Before Kaidan could react, she got on her knees and spun him, pushing him down where she had just been lying. The next thing she heard was Kaidan groaning as she took him in her mouth, flicking her tongue over the head of his member as she massaged and teased its base.

“Shepard – God, you’re good at that.” She didn’t reply, simply hummed her acceptance of the compliment into his skin, eliciting another groan from the man at her mercy. Kaidan managed to sit up slightly and reached for her breasts, fondling them as she sucked on him. She moaned again and tasted the saltiness of the first bead of fluid emitting from her lover.

Slowly, she disengaged herself from below and pushed on Kaidan’s chest, so he lay back on the bed. Raising her legs, she straddled his hips, gripping his length with both hands.

Those caramel eyes were still looking at her, but it was with more than hunger, more than desire. She could have sworn there was love behind them. She only hoped he saw the same thing when she looked at him.

Slowly, ever so slowly, she lowered herself over Kaidan’s tip, his hands gripping her hips and his head tilting back in a moan as she began to raise herself up and down over him. She completely engulfed him and felt the pressure as he pressed back into her, enjoying the feeling of his desire and need for her. She felt her own desire rising, but just before she went over the edge, Kaidan’s eyes flew back open to look at her. Without pulling himself out of her, he flipped them over so he was on top and stopped his rocking motion. He pressed himself against her so that his forehead almost touched hers. Placing his lips over hers again, she felt his tongue lightly graze past her lips and teeth, tangling with her own and she pulled him deeper by wrapping her arms around his neck and twisting her fingers into his hair. Kaidan looked at her again, surprisingly somber.

“Shepard,” he whispered. “I meant everything I said that night – and more. This isn’t just about stress or sex for me.” He leaned down to kiss her again and she returned his kiss by pulling him down and simultaneously pushing her hips up into his.

“I love you, Shepard.”

She was stunned. She had not expected that. Kaidan’s confession made her think – it made her think very hard. Did she want that? Did she want Kaidan Alenko to love her? After all this – after all her worry and fear that he didn’t care for her, that he only used her for a one-night stand to ease stress. Or worse, that she had used him.

Did she love him?

She stared up into the heat of the eyes looking down at her, waiting for a reply. _Yes_ , she thought. _Yes._

“Yes,” she said out loud, eliciting a confused look from Kaidan. “I love you, too.”

The next few minutes were a mess of teeth, tongue, hands, and an explosion of light and stars as it only took a few more thrusts from her lover to send her over the edge, screaming the name of the man she loved who screamed her name in return.

That night, she slept better than she had slept in years – in the arms of the man who loved her.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know how I did. Thanks for reading!


End file.
